Something in the way (Sienna)

[lelia]

She felt bad about it, she really did. Since that dinner that she had walked in on, Lelia had gone rogue again. They were suppose to talk, they were suppose to sort things out, or at least catch up. Now she wouldn't be surprised of Sienna was even more angry with her for the way she was acting. Dealing with things all alone wasn't the best idea, but it was all she knew. On top of all of that, she was spending alot of time with Zach, which was going lovely. That was probably the sixth time today she thought about him, but for a different reason entirely than what they had done. He knew now, he knew and for the first time it killed her inside that someone had to see it.

Slipping into the manor, Lelia looked around for a moment, things seemed to be pretty quiet. Where was Robert, Merry, and Connor? Surely they had not all gone away, during the early evenining she figured everyone would be here. Creeping from room to room she peeked her head inside, yet she was met with emptiness once again, which frustrated her. The one time she came over and had something to say but there was no one here to hear it. Tossing her hands in the air as a sign of surrender, Lelia decided that she would go have a look around Sienna's room. She was curious about her, besides, she had always been the nosey type of sister.

Pushing the door open slowly, Lelia looked around to make sure that Sienna wasn't here before slipping into the room. Running her hand along the door frame, Lelia looked around to see that her sister definitely wasn't as messy as she was, but that also made it more snooping than she wanted since nothing was really left out. Walking over to the dresser, Lelia looked at all the things on top of it, picking everything up, looking inside of it if it was a container of any sort. Part of her wanted to snoop further, into the drawers, but she contained herself as she probably would have lost it if someone did that to her.

Grabbing a picture she found, one that had Sienna, her mother, and herself in it Lelia flopped down on Sienna's bed. She stared long and hard at the picture as if trying to summon that time into reality, but as always it was no use. All of the magical powers in the world probably couldn't bring her back, which was why Lelia rarely ever practiced the craft at all. What good was having these powers if she couldn't help anything with them? If she couldn't have what she wanted she felt that no one else should have a happy ending at her own expense. It was a terrible way to think, but she wasn't going to change that anytime soon, her powers would just continue to be pushed away into obscurity.

"What happened to us? Why did we deserve this..?" she asked the empty room, or the room she thought was empty. "It's so hard without you here, mom. I wish I could talk to you, about the things I've seen, been through. I need your help, your advice so bad.." she said, starting to sob.

[fallenintospace]

Truth was, Sienna had been really busy with her own problems, to even really consider her sister. She just thought she’d come to her when she wanted to and now that she’d been through this huge change of becoming a vampire – she’d even gone to New York for a couple of weeks to deal with it better and now that she had, she had been hoping that she’d been able to deal with it better, most of all, deal with her sister better. She just had to get her on the right track, but if Lelia didn’t want to listen to her, then what could she do? They were both adults and she couldn’t force Lelia to just open up to her if she didn’t want to.

Since she’d come home, she’d been down in the basements most of the time and knew that Robert wouldn’t be returning for a while. Where Merry was, she had no clue of and she knew she still had to talk to Connor, about attacking him, although it wasn’t really attacking, but just total lack of containment. She felt really bad about it and had been wrecking her mind on ways of what to tell him exactly, but kept coming up blank. What could she say? ‘I’m sorry for almost killing you’ ? That didn’t sound reassuring at all, at least not to her.

When Sienna thought she heard someone, she went up the kitchen and the living-room and looked around cautiously, as she made her way through the rooms and then went up. Once she had been to all of the rooms, without making any sounds, or at least, not many, she realized the only room she hadn’t been in, was her own. So, she made her way there and pushed the door open, making it creak. When she saw her sister, she sighed and walked closer. ”Hey sis.” She said softly, as she walked in and sat next to her. ”I didn’t expect to see you here, it’s good to see you, though.” She smiled and pulled her into a hug. Then her attention fell on the picture and she sighed at her sister’s words. ”Sweetie, mom is listening, she’s always listening, she is out there, she is.”

[lelia]

She didn't know someone was there until she heard the door creak, making her jump out of her skin. Somehow Sienna had managed to sneak up on her, the girl who was constantly looking over her shoulder. All this time and she could never catch her and now she found her laying here so vulnerable. Wiping her eyes, she looked up at Sienna, as if she wasn't allowed to cry in front of her. The truth was however that she wanted to just give in, to come home, and be normal now. But she didn't know how, she didn't think they would accept what she had become, and the addict in her didn't want to be changed.

"Hey.." she replied weakly, sniffling from all the crying. Watching her sister move to take a seat on the bed, Lelia was going to move but as always she was too lazy. "I didn't expect to be here." she replied honestly, though she didn't mean it in a bad way either. "..I just.. we never had that talk like you wanted. I ran off again and I.. well.." she said, wiping her face once more with the back of her sleeve gently. "Someone reminded me that it can be important to actually try and reach out sometimes." she said, laughing at how stupid she felt explaining herself.

When Sienna hugged her though it was like uncorking a bottle, everything just sort of came pouring out all at once. There was a few moments where she was unable to really say anything since she was crying so much. "I know.. but.. I'm lost. She may be listening but I can't hear her. What good is any of it?" she asked inbetween sobs, making it harder to understand what it was she was really even saying. "And then I went and hurt everyone else, you, Merry, Robert, myself.." she said, adding on the last bit very quietly. She was torn up and on top of that she was confused about the night before.

"I don't even know where to begin to try and fix things. I can't even pretend like I can make anything alright, ever." she said, letting go of Sienna and looking down at the sheets.

[fallenintospace]

Sienna looked at her sister and felt her heart break, she had always tried looking out for her, even when she was vulnerable.. Especially then. And to see her here now, made her just want to curse herself for not being there, for not realizing how much help her sister really needed. How much she really needed her. ”Don’t apologize for being here, Lelia.. Please.. You’re always welcome here.”She sighed and looked at her. ”I’m sorry I wasn’t home.”

When Lelia started crying, Sienna just held her, without actually saying anything. When Lelia started talking, she closed her eyes for a moment and started shushing her a little. ”I can hear you.” She eventually said, as she rubbed her sister’s back a little and started rocking her back and forth. When Lelia finished talking, she smiled a little. ”You can make things alright, sweetie. I’m not going anywhere. I’m sorry I wasn’t home before, but I’m right here, I’m always gonna be right here. You’re not in this alone, okay?”

[lelia]

"I know, I know. But this is so random. I could have called first or something." she said, in between sobs. She felt like an intruder in her own family home, which definitely went to show how far she had managed to drag herself into the gutters. Plus, Sienna had to have her own problems, dumping on her like this was definitely not something she wanted to do. As Sienna held her, she cuddled her face affecionately into her sisters shoulder, though suddenly she felt very odd. Something was very wrong, very wrong, with the way that Sienna felt.

"No.. no.. you were probably busy with work or something." she said, looking at Sienna now curiously. There was definitely something different, though she couldn't tell right now at a glance what it was. There was a silent alarm going off in her body, that flight alarm that told a human when they should consider running for their lives. But there was no reason that she should have gotten a feeling like this around Sienna, she was only trying to help her, to get her through this sadness that she couldn't pull herself out of on her own.

"I know I should stop being selfish, that I should let you help. But I want mom, I want what I can't have anymore, I don't know how to ask any of you the same things I could ask her." she said, wiping her face again. "You know what I mean right?" she asked, tilting her head to the side. She couldn't help but stare at Sienna, as if looking for some sort of physical sign that she was different somehow, that she had gone through a change that Lelia was suddenly wary of. "Are you okay? I have never stopped to ask you that, not since that night I stumbled in here on your dinner." she said, trying to smile.

"I've made this about me for so long, I guess I didn't really stop to think that you and everyone else loved her too."

[fallenintospace]

"Sweetie, this is your home, too." Sienna said, when Lelia said that she should have called. When she felt how Lelia cuddled her face into her sister's shoulder, she smiled and affectionately combed through her sister's hair. When she however saw how Lelia looked at her curiously, she immediately wondered if she could know that she had changed. "Nor exactly work, I set that aside for a while. But, yes, I've been busy. I've been to New York with Uncle Robert."

When Lelia talked about mom, she closed her eyes, drawning out the memories and sighed. "I want her too, Lelia, I'd be really insane if I wouldn't want her, why do you think I keep so many pictures in my room? I think i have some homevideos with the whole family somewhere as well. We can look at them sometimes, if you want? I know it's not the same, but it helps, hearing Mom and Dad's voices again." She asked and said softly, as she looked at her again.

Sienna had kind of been expecting the question if she was alright, but she was honestly contemplating if it was a good idea to tell her that she was a vampire now and whether or not Lelia would be able to handle it. "I think so.. There is something though, but that can wait until you feel better." She said hesitantly, before she pulled Lelia closer again. "I need you too." She said softly, as she looked at her. "Please, let me help you.."