You Are the Music in Me (Eli)

[Marina Anne Sinclaire]

She'd managed to slip off by herself for once in her life. Usually one of her father's demonic minions was tailing her. Especially after the near vamp attack a few days ago. She was starting to feel more a prisoner than before her change and her current guy problems didn't seem to be sorting themselves out. So here she was in a practice room, fiddling. Sure it wasn't what the Broken Hearted Bastards was about but it reminded her of happier times when her mother had taught her how to hold a violin and play it both classically and for fiddle tunes. Not that there was a big difference in the end but it still reminded her of her mother before everything went bad.

She'd lost track of how long she had been here. She'd been playing for so long. She had the calluses to handle it so she wasn't so worried about that. Practicing music was the only thing she' d been able to do to get away from the corruption of her father. Something about it seemed to change his mindset and so she had learned to play till her fingers bled. Now, years later she was still playing for him. She'd had a few albums made up but fiddle music was one of those things that came and went with the seasons. She'd never made it big. You had to go on tour for that and there was no way Reginald Sinclaire's daughter would be allowed to do such a scandalous thing.

Her playing grew more intense as she worked through her repitour which was extensive at 26. She had to go do her shift at the library soon but she just had to clear her mind and spirit before she took her shift. Not that anything otherworldly happened at the library. She was more a guardian of the contents than anything. She attended meetings, filed reports and made sure that access to the deep stacks was watched like a hawk.

Of course she wasn't even dressed like she should be playing the fiddle. She'd decided to embrace her mother's side of the family and was actually wearing a pink that didn't make her look washed out or sickly. Her dress swirled about her and her purse rested on a table where her bookbag was. Yeah she didn't look at all like she belonged in a rock band. The fact that she could sing in one seemed to miss folks. She sensed Eli's arrival and started on a piece that was dizzying in how fast it could be played. Short and sweet it finished and she smiled, "Don't tell me I'm late for practice. Its not that late and my ipod hasn't gone off with an hours warning yet." she said as she turned and went to put the violin and fiddle away. She didn't want to. She could still feel the music itching to get out.

[ELI VINCENT DIASTONE]

If the supernatural had a home, Los Angeles would be it. Screw the story of two brothers going around America hunting demons, they had enough in this city. Behind bright skylines and celebrities, the truth was that it was the scariest place on Earth. Between vampires, chicks that could scream out a lung and of course recent reports of zombies, it was getting close to - rediculous. Who ever said LA was the city of dreams needs to define the difference between dream and nightmare. But Eli was still here, at least for now. Maybe New York would have music, or Australia. Or China, halfway around the world from here didn't sound too bad right now. It seems that every day there is something rising. He had woken up beside Axel this morning, and made breakfast, ate - - ate more and then left. It was intense, esepcially with everything that had happened. Double especially that they had coming, I mean, they owed Hart Enterprises a dept now. He wasn't excited what was to come it, but it couldn't be good.

See with all this stuff that had been going on, he had nearly forgotten about those crazy life-plans. Number one; the Battle Of The Bands that they weren't ready for. Like they could pull anything together, but it was a matter of trust in the band now. He didn't trust Mari right now. Not because she is a cupid or whatever, but because with these high senses he could just not be around her without telling she is something other than human. Sure, LA isn't a sparklingly normal place but he loved his band for being able to give him a normal side to his life. Now love seemed to be the theme and he wasn't feeling it. But it definitely wasn't hard to find where Mari was. You look for the guys at the practice room door peaking in on her. Eli had to do something, so sighing wearing whatever, he moved towards the door.

It would have taken a bulldozer but he broke through the crowd, yelling at them. "God people, get a life! Yeah, that's right. Move on!". He called out and even the most resistant left. Eli was left happy, but then glanced inside. The scent of pheremones hit his nostrils but didn't phase him, but Mari was definitely beeing seen in a whole new light at college. He looked at her as she played her violin and wore a pink dress. Ah, the irony. He was able to leave but she sensed him too. Biting his lip, he sighed as he entered the room and looked at her with crossed arms, looking down at her. She freaked out about missing practice, but he just shook his head. "It's all good Still class hours Mari". He said as he stood strong, looking at her. He didn't know what to expect. A hormonal and deep need for Mari? Hell no! Pretty but not that pretty to convert him at all. "That was nice. Usually I am like 'orchestral families bad, rock good'. But it was nice". He complemented, but couldn't force himself to smile. Maybe face muscles weren't formed by playing it safe, but by playing your cards right.

[Marina Anne Sinclaire]

She could sense the distrust there and a large part of her understood it even as she felt that pain of not fitting in yet again. 'Stupid for thinking I could fit in anywhere.' She felt the pain of it threaten to spill over into tears as she gently rested her bow in the case. She could tell there were folks outside watching her. She'd probably get a bunch of phone numbers and other things as she walked past them when she did go to leave. Was this what her life was going to be like now? Hordes of hormonal men and women hitting on her and her friends not trusting her?

Sometimes life is just lemons. Good thing she liked lemonade. "I just felt the music needing to get out. I'm glad you like it." she said to him with a wan smile, "I'm sorry if I messed up your groove with things. I can tell I make you uncomfortable..." she said as she looked at him, "I wish I knew how to fix it. Make you comfortable around me; but something tells me you never have been Eli.." she let the thought dangle there mostly because she didn't know what else to say really, "If you want me to leave I can. I mean I'm cool with that. Not the first time I've not meshed with folks. I mean its pretty standard no matter what I do cause I'm a freak."

She felt the tears falling. Dammit! She didn't want to start bawling. She'd dealt with rejection and distrust her whole life. She should know how to deal with it by now. It never got easier and it hurt her to feel it from others. When he mentioned it wasn't time she nodded, not looking him in the eye, "Yeah well when you're a grad student time flows differently. Not that my life is normal by any stretch. I mean I joined the band for that..." her voice started to get that husky tone that indicated she was two seconds from bawling like a six year old and all because she wasn't trusted by Eli. "Sorry if I messed it up for you. You'd probably do better without me."

With a squeak of her flats, she turned to leave, grabbing her things up blindly and pushing the door open to go. Her hair was a tangle of curls, caught up as she tried to put her purse crosswise on herself to prevent purse snatchers. She made herself stop and breathe rather than letting her temper get to her, she set down the violin and her bookbag and then her purse. Smoothing her hair out she put the bookbag on, then the purse and then the violin before reaching for the door blindly.

She wanted to scream at him, take her violin and shove it right up his ass. She was sick of having to prove herself to folks and she felt she didn't have to. A bit of white male privilege was one thing but this had been going on for weeks and she was just too tired to care any more. He was poisoning the one good thing she had left and she was so mad and upset she was shaking. She kept her eyes closed because she knew that this was just a normal every day occurrence, but it didn't mean she didn't want to scream and kick the guy in the shins. Screw that, there was a workout room with her name on it at home. She wasn't needed in class and if she came home a sobbing mess her dad would probably lay off the groping and buy her a ferret to make her smile.

[ELI VINCENT DIASTONE]

Why did he have to be so - stubborn. It was constant, I mean, he was always a stubborn person. Hard, big-headed and unreasonable. But since becoming a vampire/human thingy, he didn't just have a stubborn personality. It was a shifty one, meaning that now he could kind of sense when something was off. Call it intuition, but Mari always had this purity around her. It wasn't perfect, no one was, but it was calm and it was reassuring. Kind of a scent and attitude that it didn't matter what this world threw at you because you would be just alright. But now, ever since he last saw her, it was different. It wasn't just the enhanced pheremones but it was everything. The appearance, the kind of tainted personality that he just couldn't shake. It was like she went from an innocent and conflicted psychic to a sexually-enduced guy magnet over night, and it now felt more complex. Like there was something else, an exterior factor that was rearing its ugly head through this. And he couldn't shake it.

It was then that Mari tiffed, and Eli couldn't do anything. It was how he felt, and it wouldn't be forever. Just for some reason, it had kind of made it hard to trust Mari. He didn't hate her, never. But he had an odd feeling about her. Now that there was definitely more then meets the eye with her. But she was overreacting, and when she basically said he never trusted her or taken the chance to, he went to speak but was cut off by her. It was never like that. If he didn't trust her, then he wouldn't have seen this brightness from her the first time he saw her. Strength, resiliency and an overwhelming feeling of fortified power. He got a bit pissed, trying to speak but couldn't. It was then that she left, grabbing her stuff and turning to leave. As she walked passed him, obvious tears falling from her eyes he went to speak. "I -". But she was gone.

Hearing the door close, his head slightly turned the clenching of his jaw indicated how annoyed her was. Not at Mari, but at the whole situation. He let out a breath, shaking his head to try and let out some of this stress. He was alone in this room and feeling like the biggest dirt bag, but he just stood in the middle of the room and thought. Looking to his left, he knew the perfect song to sing right now. The good thing about music, it was very therapeutic. Grabbing an acoustic off a stand behind some amps, he put his sidebag down and instantly remembered the chords.

"You can go
You can start all over again
You can try to find a way to make another day go by
You can hide
Hold all your feelings inside
You can try to carry on when all you want to do is cry

And maybe someday
We'll figure all this out
Try to put an end to all our doubt
Try to find a way to make things better now and
Maybe someday we'll live our lives out loud
We'll be better off somehow
Someday........"

Finishing a resonating strum, he rested his chin on the top of the guitar and thought...

[Marina Anne Sinclaire]

Closing the door behind her; she leaned against it and slid down to a kneeling position. Shame filled her for her outburst at Eli. She'd just been carrying so much pain inside her. She felt like she had let the world down. She always knew nothing she did was good enough for her dad but now? It seemed like she couldn't do right anywhere. She felt the tears trail down her face and she prayed. The Latin falling from her lips easily as she crossed herself. She prayed for the strength to carry on just a little longer. It wasn't her chapel but she didn't care right now. She needed the clairity that would come from just releasing her burdens to the heavens.

She knew Eli would probably hear her and she didn't care. She didn't pray to be heard she prayed from the heart, "I'm' sorry. I didn't mean to lose my temper at him, I just don't know the words. I don't know why he doesn't trust me. What did I do wrong? I don't understand. Am I not listening enough? I just...I just want to be like my mom. I just want her to be proud of me. I mean I know that she's not hear to say anything but I always tried to live up to her ideals. I thought...if I dressed like my dad wanted he'd leave me alone and I could help people; but now people are so caught up in the outside they're not even seeing ME any more. I mean I know you changed me. I don't know why you did it but there was a reason so I've just got to be patient. I just wish I knew what you wanted me to do, God. I hate to ask anything of you but can you give me a hint? I just know when people are angry or upset it feels like I'm being stabbed and it hurts. I just don't know what to do when it hurts so bad. I don't know what to do to release it."

She exhaled and heard Eli playing sighing she rose and collected her things, she knocked very gently on the door, "Eli? I'm sorry I spazzed out at you. I shouldn't have done it. I've just been trying to balance everything in my life and whats happened to me and my empathy caused me to over react. I'm sorry." she said as she gently wiped at her eyes and exhaled.

For lack of anything to do she began fingering some chords as her mind clicked. Music...that was it.

Dream on by Aerosmith

Every time that I look in the mirror
All these lines on my face getting clearer
The past is gone
It went by like dusk to dawn
Isn't that the way
Everybody's got their dues in life to pay

Yeah, I know nobody knows
Where it comes and where it goes
I know it's everybody's sin
You got to lose to know how to win

Half my life's in books' written pages
Live and learn from fools and from sages
You know it's true
All the things you do, come back to you

[Chorus]

Sing with me, sing for the years
Sing for the laughter and sing for the tears
Sing with me, if it's just for today
Maybe tomorrow the good Lord will take you away
Take you away[2X]

Dream on, dream on, dream on,
Dream yourself a dream come true
Dream on, dream on, dream on,
And dream until your dream comes true
Dream on [7x]

[/i]

[ELI VINCENT DIASTONE]

Before he knew what was going on, she was back. Had she been listening? Was this a game or something? When he heard her voice, he turned his head and looked to her. He caught scent of the phereomones that fought against his senses. It must have been because they were super strong pheremones and Eli was gay, so his state of mind was trying to reject them. So in that way it kind of made Mari less appealing then irresistable, and made it kind of hard. But she appoligized and he didn't know what to say. Trust was a big thing for Eli; it had to be earnt and once you have it and it is broken, it is hard to rebuild it. "Mari, I -". But then she picked up a guitar and started playing. Eli didn't know what to do, but she played. He never really listened to the lyrics, but it made sense. He just sat their and listened.

When she finished the chorus in a light, acoustic way, he smiled slightly but wanted to prove his point through his song. When she finished, he followed on time with his song. "And maybe, someday, we'll figure all this out.
Put an end to all our doubt.
Try to find a way to make things, better now.
And maybe, someday.
We'll live our lives out loud.
We'll be better off how. Someday.....

Coz sometimes we don't really notice,
Just how good it can get......
So maybe we should, start all over.
Start all over again.

And baby, can we start all over.
Start all over .......
........ Again".

When he finished, he basically dropped the guitar to leave. It was intense, too intense. He picked up his bag and moved past Mari, and then stopped. Letting out a breath, he knew he owed her something. A reason at least, something to give her peace of mind. Because maybe, someday they will figure all this out - but not today. He moved his head a bit, and glanced back at her. She was the same Mari, just supercharged with hormones and it was just a sign that he didn't know her anymore. He smiled slightly, pushing through his own stubborness and looked into her eyes. "I mean it. I don't want us not to be friends. But we can't be a close, as we were. I don't know if we will ever be Mari, who knows? But for now, I think we just need to maybe not see each other for a while. Just for a bit, until it all goes away. But hey - your a cupid, I'm a vamp guy - we'll figure it out". He gave her a smirk, and then shifted his bag on his shoulder better. Before walking away that is, and moved through the door.

As he made his way through the swarm of guys. He needed her for the Battle Of The Bands, he needed her to be one to talk to. But for now, he needed some distance. Things were already too rapidly weird for him now, and more would be too much. But as he moved past a guy, he heard him speak to one of the others. "She's the hotest girl in LA. Seriously, there is just something about her. She's something". He smiled it. It was kind of cute and romantic, but it was the love spell all over again. But Eli stopped and grabbed the guy on his sleeve for a second before stepping back. He smirked slightly, and smiled as he spoke. "Yeah - yeah, she is". He said and moved on, the guy standing confused but then tried to catch a glance like every other guy as Eli walked down the steps.